Never You
by Scarlet Secret
Summary: After the night at Godric's Hollow Minerva grieves and a certain diviner is there to help.


You could never stand to know.  
  
For a long time I helped you heal but you never acknowledged that it was me. Lily and James were your favourite students, they had both looked up to you as a mother...or at least a favourite Aunt. And you let them.  
  
When they died I think a piece of you died with them Minerva, you were not the same woman for months after their deaths.  
  
You might well have never healed had I not practically begged Severus for a pitcher of Polyjuice potion, he had relented eventually, apparently he was happier top go against the rules then have a mad old bat hovering around him morning, noon and night.  
  
I became anyone and everyone you needed me to be.  
  
Xiomara. One of your oldest friends, that she preferred women we could all handle, but I don't believe you ever accepted she didn't prefer you to me. For one night she was yours.  
  
Tom. I was against it at the beginning, but I still had the scarf he gave me in Hogsmeade, he said he was afraid I would freeze to death, had his heart already frozen by then. The great love of your life.  
  
Constance's pillow still had her hair on top of it. I was afraid I would turn into Severus for a moment but luckily I turned into her. You didn't need her body for comfort, you just needed to hold you adopted daughter in you arms whilst she told you she loved you and that you were her mother.  
  
I felt like an intruder when I entered the abandoned Godric's Hollow. Apart from removing the bodies, the place had not been touched by the Ministry or anybody else. I made my way through the blown away door into the bedroom and managed to find some strands of hair. I left swiftly and drank the potion for James that night.  
  
You were delighted to see him. I know you are not insane, and that you knew I was doing this for your benefit, but Minerva, it was rather amusing when you started apologising for all the times you put him in detention. Then I came as Lily and you cried all night. You stopped me when I kissed you, saying you would never have with the real Lily so you couldn't.  
  
That night when I left you were still crying behind me.  
  
It continued for a while, every night I was one of your most beloved, and every night I felt a growing resentment. You never needed me.  
  
One night I came up to my tower to find you had left a note for me.  
  
It told me to use the blonde strands lying on top of it. Grudgingly I did, wondering vaguely if you were turning me into an animal. I felt the transformation, but by now I was used to the pain. I climbed down the stairs not wanting to know who you had me become at your request, all I could tell was that I was still a woman. Good job really, if you were playing out your fantasies then it would be easier; it was much harder for me to make love to you as a man.  
  
When I came into your classroom I saw you and for the first time you were smiling.  
  
"Thank you, I needed you tonight most of all."  
  
I smile, but I know you are not talking to me. Striding across the room would be so much easier if I knew as whom I would soon be kissing you as. Who did I know who was blonde.?  
  
Narcissa Malfoy, I doubt it. Rosmerta perhaps.? They were all that I knew - well except for me...  
  
Me.  
  
I reach up to my head and feel the familiar curves of my own face. The small scar on my forehead gives it away. That was where my glasses broke when I fell off my broomstick during a particularly brutal game of Quidditch. I was playing with you and you dropped the ball immediately to help me if I recall.  
  
"Why me.?"  
  
"I need you. Not them. They all left me, none of them care. But you did, I know how much Polyjuice potion can hurt."  
  
"Minerva..."  
  
Now I was nervous.? I had spent night after night in your company and touched you body endlessly, but never with my own hands. You tilt my head and kiss me softly. It feels strange with my own lips.  
  
"Be quiet Sybill. Tonight I need you."  
  
The End. 


End file.
